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Change In Relationships | Coping And Adapting To A Changing Partner
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Today's video includes Coach Adrian discussing change in relationships, specifically dealing with a partner who has changed, and you don't know what to do. It's very confusing sometimes because you embark on a journey with someone, and ultimately, the person you are with is not the person you end up being with over the years. How do you deal with change in relationships? Is change in relationships normal? How do you approach change in relationships when you're dealing with someone that is no longer the person that you originally signed up to be with?
First and foremost, you have to understand that people evolve. As human beings we are on a journey through life, and life is not static. If you are expecting your partner, the person that you love, to stay the same, you are fooling yourself, because everything on this planet evolves, and it is normal for your partner to evolve. Your relationship will need to constantly and continuously evolve over the years. If you're hoping to keep it in a box, it's not going to work. You're going to go your separate ways because, in a way, you will have failed to be able to reinvent the relationship through the different phases of life.
Just like there are different seasons - spring, fall, winter, and summer - there are different seasons to relationships. And it's not realistic to expect your relationship to continue to have the same passion and intimacy over decades upon decades, and compare that to the initial honeymoon phase of the relationship. Life comes in the way. People mature. Interests change. Families get bigger. And you need to adapt.
Ultimately, having a common life project means that you are with someone for something greater than yourself. It means that you choose to be with an individual, not because of passion, intimacy, and how they make you feel, but because you believe in accomplishing something bigger than yourselves on this journey together. And that is what we invite you to constantly remember along the way.
Ultimately, if your partner is changing, it is your responsibility to understand why they are changing, what they are into, and to think about ways by which you can empower them to continuously discover themselves and these interests. And perhaps you need to do more to stretch your comfort zone and to learn about new things that they are interested in, so that you can relate, so that you can help them grow, so that you can have meaningful conversation together.
So if your partner is evolving and changing, don't fight it, don't resist it. Embrace the change, as long as it's not destructive, or doing things that are harming your relationship.
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